As most of you probably know by now, I recently found out that I have an inoperable tumor on my pancreas. A biopsy which I had last Wednesday confirms that this is cancer, and that it has spread to my liver.

The medical prognosis is not good. Pancreatic cancer has a very low survival rate. Its cause is unknown. It grows silently, without any indication that it is there. By the time symptoms do show up, it is often beyond the point of controlling it.

So what began as a routine summer of rest and relaxation, is ending up to be a struggle with life and death. How quickly things have changed for our family!

Yet in the midst of this great storm that has broken over us, we are enjoying the peace of God, a renewed appreciation for the comfort and encouragement of His Word, and the amazing support and love of God’s people.

Many of you have called or emailed or written cards to assure us of your love and concern, and we are so grateful for that. All of you who know about our situation have been praying – we can sense that, and often we feel as though we are being lifted up and carried along on the wings of your prayers.

I want you to know that, on Thursday morning, the elders gathered together to pray over me and to anoint me with oil, in response to James 5, which says…

Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.

The elders prayed fervently that I might be healed. And that is how many of you have been praying – that the Lord might do a miracle of healing in my body. And I thank you for praying that way, and for believing that way; and I would encourage you to continue to pray that way.

Because in light of the medical situation, God’s miraculous intervention is the only thing that can keep me alive.

I want you to know that I am ready to die. I am not looking forward to the process of dying, but I am not the least bit afraid of what will happen to me when I die. Because, as Paul said in 2 Timothy 1:12…

I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.

Jesus is my Saviour; He has my life in his hands and he has a home prepared for me in heaven, and I’m looking forward to going there. So I am ready to die.

But I’m also ready to live, if that’s what God wants. I can’t help but feel that God has a lot more for me to do here as a husband, as a father, and as the pastor of Erindale Bible Chapel. God has called me to serve in each of those areas, and I don’t feel that my work in any of those areas is done yet. Carolyn says that she still needs me. My boys say that they still need their Dad. And you folks have said over and over in recent days that you’re not ready to look for a new pastor.

So it’s okay to pray for a miracle. But let’s remember that the final call is God’s to make. And whatever he decides will be best. He is good, He loves us, and His will is always best for us. He is the master – we are His servants. He is our Father; we are His children. So we don’t make demands on Him; we don’t presume to tell Him what to do.

But he has told us that we can ask for things; He has told us that we can make requests.

Sharing this news with my family has not been the easiest thing in the world. But they have assured me that they are just trusting God with the whole situation. When I told my son Tom the news about me, he asked me a very perceptive question. He said “Dad, does this make a difference in the way you look at life?”

And my answer was, “Yes, Tommy. It makes a tremendous difference.”

It makes a difference to know that my time is limited; that my days are numbered. As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, each day takes on a special importance; a special urgency. Relationships have become so much more important; and things have become so much less so. I don’t even care that my car is dirty anymore! Time becomes much more valuable; money much less so.

I find myself looking at each day as a gift from God – a gift to use for him. I find myself asking at the beginning of each day “How can I be a blessing to someone today? How can I take an interest in them? How can I love them for Jesus sake? How can I fit into God’s program today?”

But as I reflected further on Tommy’s question, I found myself asking a more troubling question: “Why haven’t I always lived my life this way? What ever gave me the right to live any other way – to assume that I had endless days to squander on my own plans, my own priorities, my own agenda?”

You see, we are all living in the valley of the shadow of death, whether or not we have been diagnosed with a fatal disease. We are all going to die someday, and we know not when. We are all facing our own mortality square in the face, whether we choose to recognize it or not.

So, looking back on Tom’s question “Does this make a difference in the way you look at life.” I wish that I could have answered “No – it doesn’t make any difference. I’m going to go on living just the way I have always lived – making the most of every day that God gives me, redeeming the time, loving people and not things, serving God with all my heart instead of serving me.”

Someone asked me recently “In light of your present situation, has God given you any profound new spiritual insights?” And I’ve had to say “No. Nothing profound.” He has reconfirmed for me some very basic spiritual truths, namely that

Jesus loves me, this I know

For the Bible tells me so

Little ones to Him belong

I am weak but He is strong

I’ve been feeling pretty good physically. More than one person has said “You sure don’t look sick!” But I have to confess that I don’t feel very strong spiritually or emotionally. I feel pretty fragile.

Several years ago, a well-known pastor in the U.S. came down with a terminal illness. When he got up in front of his congregation after this news had become public, he said “For many years as your pastor, I have taught you how to live. Now I’m going to teach you how to die.”

Maybe that was the right thing for him to say, but I have to tell you that I don’t feel nearly strong enough to say that.

I am just a man. I suffer like you do. I am just as afraid of death as you are. I’ve never died before, so I don’t think I can teach anyone else how to. All I can do is try to point you to the same Scriptures that I myself am going to, as a fellow-learner, as a sufferer looking for comfort and hope.

So that’s what I’m going to try to do with the remainder of our time today. And I hope that this sermon will make sense. I can’t guarantee that it will; given that is was prepared, and is being given by someone who is under the influence of narcotics!

Over the past few weeks of the summer, we have been looking at the process of decision-making. Specifically, we have been looking at certain key moments of decision in the lives of Bible characters to try to determine how we might make better decisions ourselves. And in each case, we discovered that there was a central guiding principle that led that individual to the particular choice he or she made.

1. Abraham - a man whose guiding principle was to be determined to say YES to God no matter what God asked him to do

2. Ruth - a woman who decided, at the crossroads of life, to be a blessing to someone else instead of looking out for herself. That was her guiding principle, and because of it, she reaped tremendous blessing from God

3. Esther - a young woman who determined that personal survival couldn’t compare with the privilege of standing up for God’s cause – for what was right and true – even though she knew it would probably cost her her life.

We have learned that these guiding principles are the stuff of which good decisions are made.

In light of my illness, I have found myself drawn to the life of another Bible character – a man named Paul – whose guiding principle was that he always remembered to take heaven into account when he made personal decisions. Paul was a man who was acutely aware of his own mortality – he knew that he was living life on the edge of eternity, and so his life had passion, urgency, vitality and impact.

Turn to 2 Corinthians 5, a passage which describes the matrix in which Paul made decisions.

2Cor. 5:1 ¶ Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.

2Cor. 5:2 Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling,

2Cor. 5:3 because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked.

2Cor. 5:4 For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.

2Cor. 5:5 Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

2Cor. 5:6 ¶ Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.

2Cor. 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight.

2Cor. 5:8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

2Cor. 5:9 So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.

2Cor. 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad

Now as I look at this passage, I can see three truths Paul was convinced of. And these three truths influenced every daily decision that Paul made. Here are the three truths…

1. Life is short

2. Heaven is home

3. Aim to please God

Life is short

Notice in v. 1, he refers to our human bodies as being a tent. And he contrasts this tent with a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.

This past summer Carolyn and Michael and I did some camping when we were down east. We spent several nights in a tent. Fortunately for us, the weather was good, but there was one night on Cape Breton Island when the wind was very strong and we wondered whether our little tent would blow away. A tent is fragile and not very durable.

That’s because a tent is meant to be a temporary dwelling – it isn’t intended for permanent occupancy. And that is how Paul describes our physical bodies: temporary, frail, and easily taken down.

And I can attest to that! I thought that physically I was in good health. I’m 49 years old, and have never had any serious sickness in my life. Earlier this summer, I was experiencing some minor pain in my abdomen, so I went for a check up. The check up indicated that everything seemed to be okay, and that the pain was probably nothing more than heartburn; acid reflux.

But the pain didn’t go away; it persisted. And so I had further tests, and those tests indicated that, rather than being in good health – I was physically in desperate trouble, and I didn’t even know it!

Life is short. Death is nearby, stalking us slowly. Or it can come like a sudden hurricane and blow us away. But we don’t like to think about that. We tend to live our lives as though we are going to be around forever. We plan and think as though we have many years ahead of us. But we don’t know! Our physical bodies are so fragile and weak. The Bible says that our lives here on earth are like a vapor.

One of the things I think God might be doing through my illness is that He is trying to get our attention on that point. And I can’t help but think that this “wake up call” is not just for my family and me; it’s for all of us as a church family.

Life is short; death is near. Paul knew that in his very heart of hearts. He knew that he was living on the threshold of eternity. And that’s why he lived with such passion and urgency. Listen to what he says to the Philippian church in Phil. 1:20ff. He was in prison when he wrote this, and he didn’t know how that imprisonment was going to turn out…

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.

A few years ago there was a popular movie entitled Dead Man Walking. That’s how Paul saw himself – as a dead man walking. And that’s how I am coming to see myself too – as a dead man walking. I still have some time here, but that time is growing short. And before you say, “Oh, poor you!” Let me remind you that we are all in the same boat. We are all dead men walking. Because life is short and death is near.

Now some of you might think of that as bad news, or grim news, but it doesn’t need to be. Because of the next truth that Paul understood:

Heaven is Home!

Look at verse 4…

For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

He’s talking about our heavenly body – that permanent dwelling place that we’ll receive when we get to glory. God has created us to live with him forever. He has put within our hearts a deep yearning, a longing for our eternal home. We want to live in a place of beauty, where everything is good, where everything is right, where there is perfect love and peace and happiness.

And we mistakenly think that we can try to arrange that for ourselves here and now, in this life on earth. But it cannot be done. And so we keep on experiencing that longing, that wishing, that desire for a better life. And what we are actually feeling is a kind of spiritual homesickness. We are longing for heaven.

We went up to spend a week at a cottage on Lake Joseph the day after I received the news of my illness. And when we got there, I found that I was seeing things from a new perspective. As beautiful and peaceful that location is, it cannot hold a candle to what heaven is going to be like.

And I found myself looking at the glories of God’s creation – the sun shining through the lacy needles of a pine tree, the way the light reflects on the ripples of water on the lake, the intricate patterns and colors and textures in even the humble rocks that we walk on…

And I found myself thinking “These masterpieces of beauty and creativity are only a foretaste of what heaven is going to be like.” If this is how magnificent earth is, think of how incredible heaven must be! And heaven is home. It is the home we have been looking forward to ever since the day we were born.

Paul understood that that’s where he wanted to be. He says in v. 8 “I would prefer to be at home with the Lord.” Can you say that? Or are you so wrapped up in trying to make a heaven for yourself here on earth that you’ve forgotten your true home?

Two hundred years ago, the slaves in the southern United States toiled out in the cotton fields in the hot sun. Their lives were hard, short and filled with heartache and suffering. They had been kidnapped, sold into slavery, shipped like cattle to a foreign land, had their families ripped apart, and been subjected to unendurable agonies. So it’s no wonder that as they worked out in the fields, they sang about heaven. They knew this world wasn’t their home – they were just a-passin’ through.

There is one last thing Paul understood; one last principle that guided his choices, his decision-making, his living…

Aim to please God

Look at verse 9

So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

Life is short, and heaven is home, but what we do in this short life on earth matters in heaven. How we live here, in our temporary dwelling place, is of utmost importance because we are going to stand, one day, before the judgment seat of Christ. And he’s going to ask us “What did you do while you were living in that tent?”

Who were you living for? Were you living for me, or were you living for yourself?

Were you living in anticipation of coming to heaven, or were you too busy trying to turn your little life into a personal “heaven on earth”?

How did you treat other people? Did you love them, did you care for them, or did you use them?

Did you care about my priorities, or did you only care about your own priorities?