The Church in Transition - Ephesus

Last Sunday the sermon was sluggish,

‘Twas hard my attention to keep.

The topic was poorly chosen;

The pastor put me to sleep.

Monday I was blue with sheer boredom.

Tuesday I was carnal by choice.

But Wednesday, my conscience was wakened

By the Spirit’s still small voice.

Prayer meeting left me uplifted,

Loyalty lingering long.

Thursday my heart was responding;

Friday, God’s prompting was strong.

I came to thorough repentance

The following Saturday.

I yielded in full surrender

As my all on the altar I lay.

That Sunday, the sermon was perfect;

Superb and quite at its peak.

Amazing how greatly the pastor

Improved in the space of a week!

That poem captures something of the complicated dynamics of the relationship between a pastor and his people. When a church is on fire spiritually, everybody thinks that the pastor is doing a great job. But when the people are cold spiritually, or the church is struggling, it must be because the pastor is a dud.

In any church, the pastor is God’s point man. In the Viet Nam war, squads of American soldiers would go into the jungle on patrol. Leading the squad was the point man. He had the most dangerous job of all. If the patrol walked into an ambush and a fire fight broke out, he would be the first one the enemy would shoot at.

Spiritually speaking, a pastor is in much the same position. He can be either the most loved and respected person in the church, or the most hated and resented. It all boils down to what’s going on spiritually in the lives of the people in the congregation.

A pastor is also a significant person for another reason. His highly visible leadership position causes him to be burned into people’s memory banks. He becomes, in some small way, a part of each person’s personal history.

I’m sure that many of you can look back and remember important events - perhaps milestones of your life - and remember George Washburn, or Arnold Williamson, or John R. Michael, or Larry Nees being a part of them.

We pastors go through the best times and the worst times with you. We’re there to pray with you before your surgery. We stand at the altar with you as you exchange your wedding vows. We dedicate your babies, and bury your grandparents. And you see us every week in between.

So it’s no wonder that , when it comes time for a pastor to leave a church, it can be a traumatic experience, for both the pastor and the church. Relationships have to be severed; roles have to be redefined. Albums of memories have to be closed.

It would really help if we had some biblical guidelines to go by as we move through such a transition. Well, guess what! We do. There is an example of this exact situation in Scripture, in the book of Acts, chapter 20.

We usually think of Paul as a missionary, but for the better part of three years, he was a pastor. On his third missionary journey, he stopped at the city of Ephesus and stayed there from around 53 to 55 AD. He did a lot of teaching and preaching, and became, in effect, that church’s shepherd.

In Acts chapter 20, we read that Paul felt the Lord leading him to return to Jerusalem. He had to go past Ephesus by boat, but he stopped at Miletus on the coast and called for the leaders of the church at Ephesus to meet him there. It took them a couple of days to get there because Ephesus was about thirty miles inland. That meeting was Paul’s farewell to the Ephesian church. What he said to them is recorded in Acts 20:17-38.

Paul talks to them about the past, and about his ministry, but he also talks to them about the future. As we look at this passage, I want you to notice three things that were true of Paul’s ministry as their pastor. Because these are three things that you will want to be true of your next pastor’s ministry with you.

1. He lived a life of integrity.

Acts 20:18-19 When they arrived, he said to them: “You know how I lived the whole time I was with you, from the first day I came into the province of Asia. I served the Lord with great humility and with tears, although I was severely tested by the plots of the Jews.

Acts 20:33ff I have not coveted anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

The first thing a church needs from its pastor is that he be an honest man. How well he can preach isn’t nearly as important as that he practices what he preaches. The congregation wants him to be a good preacher, but it needs him to be a man of God. They need to see that the truth of Christianity works for him.

One of the occupational hazards of being a pastor is that people don’t relate to a pastor the way they do to everyone else. They want to put the pastor on a pedestal. They don’t feel comfortable thinking that their pastor is a fallible human being just like them; a man who faces temptation and has weaknesses and fails just like they do.

Some people think that a pastor is holy because it’s his job; he’s getting paid to be holy. And the danger in all of this is that a pastor can start to believe that about himself. Then he begins to play a role and he ceases to be an authentic person.

Paul was not like that. He was open. He said “You know how I lived the whole time I was with you.” They saw him when he was strong, but they also saw him when he was weak. He said “I served the Lord with tears and humility.” They saw him weep: tears of frustration, tears of anguish. He wasn’t always “up” when he was with them; he didn’t put on a ministerial front.

And he lived like they did. He got down to his people’s level. He worked hard for a living just like they did. When the church had a clean-up project, I can see Paul with a bucket and a sponge in his hand just like everyone else. He didn’t put himself above his people just because he was their spiritual leader.

A congregation needs their pastor to be an authentic man of God. They need him to be a real person, not some sanctimonious windbag in a dark suit. They need him to be honest and open and approachable. They need him to be authentic. That is the kind of leader you’ll need, and that is the kind of leader I hope I have been for you.

2. He was faithful in communicating the Word of God

Acts 20:20-21 You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house. I have declared to both Jews and Greeks that they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus.

Acts 20:26-27 Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of all men. For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God.

Surveys of churches have shown that the number one item on a congregation’s agenda for their pastor is that he teach them the Word of God. People want their pastor to be a communicator of God’s truth. They don’t need his opinions. They don’t need the philosophy of men or a synopsis of pop psychology. They don’t need the power of positive thinking, or a gospel of warm, fuzzy feelings. They need the truth - the whole counsel of God.

They need him to talk about grace, and love, and hope, but they also need him to talk about sin, and righteousness, and judgment.

And they need the truth in such a way as that they will know what to do with it. They don’t just need the pastor to give them theology lectures. They need him to show them how the Word of God applies to their lives, and to challenge them to obey it. That’s what Paul did for the Ephesian church, and for the past seven years, that is what I have tried to do for you. I know I haven’t always succeeded, but I have tried.

My prayer, on entering the pulpit, has always been, “Lord, let your Word be clear to these people. Don’t let me get in the way of their understanding your truth.”

There are many aspects to a pastor’s job. He does counseling. He is an administrator. He needs to visit the sick and comfort the suffering. He does a lot of correspondence. He gets a lot of mail. There are a lot of meetings he needs to attend.

But all these duties, as important as they may be, are not his most urgent priority. His first and foremost responsibility is the ministry of the Word. And that takes time. Time in prayer. Time in concentrated study. Time to think about what the congregation needs, and what the Lord is saying.

Now it is very easy for all those other responsibilities to come crowding in and rob him of that time that he so desperately needs. I have always found it a struggle to give adequate time to preparing for the ministry of the Word.

You’ll want to encourage your next pastor to spend quality time in study. Don’t let these other things distract him from that. Don’t place unrealistic expectations on him. Respect his study time, and help him to guard it. You’ll be a better church for it.

3. He was a man on a mission

Acts 20:22-24 “And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.

Paul was a man who was following God’s leading. His own wants, hopes, and feelings were quite secondary to his burning desire to do what Jesus wanted him to do. The Lord had led him to Ephesus. Now the Lord was leading him away. I’m sure that the church at Ephesus wanted him to stay. They didn’t want to see him go. But they weren’t about to stand in the way of a man who was following God’s leading.

So they fell on their knees and prayed one last time together. They embraced Paul and wept because they knew they would never see him again. But they let him go. And they were wise to do it. Because when God leads a pastor away from a church, it is to lead another pastor to that church. When God is in control, everybody gets blessed. But they wept, and it wasn’t wrong for them to weep.

A congregation which loses a pastor experiences some of the same emotional passages as does a family which loses a loved one, or an individual who faces a terminal illness. There is a process of grieving involved. The process has five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

A healthy church will work through this process, arriving at acceptance in the end. Working through the process enables them to experience closure, and frees them to begin a fresh relationship with a new pastor without excess emotional baggage from the old relationship. But there’s always a danger that some people will find themselves stranded in one of the stages.

1. Denial

When a pastor announces that he’s leaving, shock and confusion are often the immediate reaction. There is a tendency to say “I don’t believe it. I don’t know how to deal with it.” Some in the congregation may never move beyond this stage. They will simply refuse to deal with the fact of the pastor’s departure.

They will not say “good-bye”. They will not attend the farewell service. They might even persuade themselves that they are being loyal to the pastor by reacting this way. But they are simply refusing to face reality. This will seriously handicap their relationship with the next pastor.

2. Anger

Once the initial shock wears off, there may be a sense of rejection which sets in; a tendency to say “How could he do this to us?” The congregation might conclude that the pastor likes the new church he is going to a lot better than he likes them. They feel rejected by him. That’s not why he is leaving, but that is what they feel at this stage.

This stage can be especially difficult for people who know what it feels like to be rejected. It shouldn’t surprise you that many people are carrying deep feelings of rejection from their own past. Perhaps from a parent, perhaps a broken relationship or a failed marriage. And they’re carrying the scars of that rejection. Many people never adequately deal with those feelings. They are so painful that they just repress them, and those feelings just float around under the surface.

But when the pastor announces that he is leaving, those feelings rear their ugly head. All the pain of the past comes flooding back, but it focuses on the pastor. People who get hung up at this stage may look at the pastor’s leaving as an act of betrayal. They may even develop a grudge toward him, and refuse to talk to him, or be in the same room with him.

But they are not really reacting to him or his leaving, they are simply re-living their past pain. The pastor’s leaving was just the trigger that brought those feelings back. A person who gets hung up at this stage is a person will probably never come to trust the next pastor. This person will always be suspicious. He’ll just be waiting for that pastor to betray him again.

3. Bargaining

There are many soldiers who, in the heat of battle, prayed “God, if you get me out of this, I’ll become a missionary.” That’s bargaining.

A person who has a terminal disease often does this with his doctor. He may volunteer for some experimental treatment, or ask for some new, untested drug.. Anything to avoid the impending catastrophe. That’s bargaining.

Individuals in the congregation may subconsciously enter into a bargaining process to try to persuade the pastor not to leave. They may rationalize that, if certain circumstances had been different, the pastor might reconsider.

People often attribute a pastor’s leaving to some specific problem which must exist in the church. “Pastors don’t leave unless there are problems.” they say. So they become private detectives. They try very hard to figure out what the specific problem might be that caused the pastor to leave.

I‘ve heard one or two comments to that effect in our situation here. Let me assure you that I am not leaving because of problems in the church. In fact, if there were problems in the church, I would not leave. I would stay and address them. I don’t think it’s a good idea for a pastor to run away from problems.

But people who get stranded at this stage - the bargaining stage - have to have a reason; a negative reason. Sometimes, they simply make up a reason.

People who get stranded at this stage usually develop guilt feelings. They may blame themselves for causing the problem that made the pastor to leave, just like the child of an alcoholic may blame himself for the fact that his parent is an alcoholic. It’s a coping mechanism, but it’s a very destructive coping mechanism.

On the other hand, they may blame others for causing the pastor to leave. Either way, it doesn’t make for a very happy or healthy congregation.

4. Depression

When it becomes obvious that the pastor is definitely leaving, and no amount of denial, anger, or bargaining will change his mind, the church may go through a period of depression.

Morale may plummet as the congregation’s self-esteem goes down. Some people will take an overly pessimistic view of the future. Others may be tempted to give up. Some members may even decide to leave the church entirely.

Becoming stranded at this stage happens when we lose sight of the fact that Christ is Lord of the church, and that the ministry of the church does not stand or fall on the presence of one man, even if that man is the pastor.

The church at Ephesus got along just fine after Paul left. They were a bastion of the faith for many hundreds of years. That’s because the church is bigger than one man, even if that man was the Apostle Paul. The church is the Body of Christ, and Christ is the Head. And the sooner we realize that, the much less likely it is that we will stay depressed for long.

5. Acceptance

When a congregation reaches this stage, it experiences a joyful freedom. Freedom to enjoy its good memories of the outgoing pastor. Freedom to get down to the exciting business of finding a new one. Optimism about the future is combined with rejoicing over the past.

Above all, the changing of the guard will be positive and healthy. Throughout the time of transition, a church like this will be in a position to see God’s guidance and experience God’s grace.

It is my prayer that LBC would experience such a transition, in order that it be a model to other churches on Long Island, that the Lord’s work would go forward, that God’s people would grow, and that God would get the glory.